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    April 25

    死与不死的边缘

      当然我这里说的死不是指肉体上的而是精神上的.
      今天突然有了发短信的兴致,很久不想发这个麻烦的东西了,今天却让他复活了,神奇了一把.中午懒懒的躺在床上,也没有想任何的问题,像这样的空闲真是难得,于是我也很享受,享受之余我拿起了手机,翻起了通讯录.昨天晚上和彭杨吃了个饭,所以发信息给她也挺合适的.于是就发了起来,不过也没什么好聊的,就是发着玩,当然我还是相当的期待回信.
      从前总觉得自己的心已经死了,因为变的无欲无求,因为变得不知道该怎么去爱,所以手机在我看来的作用就是用来联系工作的,发信息这个东西是多余的.但发现了短信这个功能,也并不是表示我也就不是死的了,我总觉得还是有一丝阴影将我拖向死亡.毕竟我也22了,4年的大学没有感情生活可言,孤单的4年早就习惯了,并可以说我习惯了一个人承担生命的重量和生活的艰辛.并不是说这4年里我没有摆脱单身的机会,只是我不想,因为我怕伤害别人.之前我总是说我很累,的确很累,一个人太累了,不过也就累而已,累是拖不死我的身体的,至于我的心会不会死...再说吧.
      好不容易又感到自己有了活着的气息,千万别再死去.我也会努力不死.

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